Hello, this is Oshyo!
It has been a monk at a temple for the last 12 years.
This time, I will explain “what to do when you are scolded”.
From Buddha’s words and my point of view, I will explain it in a simple and easy-to-understand manner.
The order is [Conclusion ▶ Explanation ▶ Summary].
Conclusion: Overcome your emotions
First of all, I have a question.
Do you have a remedy when you are scolded?
If everyone is living, there are events that make others angry.
There are various causes such as work mistakes, differences in values with lovers, and disagreements with friends.
Even if you don’t buy anger, it often frustrates the other person.
At such times, we are rather angry or depressed more than necessary.
However, if you become emotional, you will not get good results.
I think this can be imagined from your own experience.
Then, what kind of measures should be taken?
Shaka started Buddhism in India 2500 years ago.
Even in this era, there were people who wondered what to do when they made others angry.
Mr. Shaka answered this question as follows.
First of all, let’s notice your feelings.
Then he can calm down.
By calming yourself, you can calm the anger of the other person.
I will explain this word in detail ↓
Explanation: If you get angry, look at yourself
In response to the question, “What should I do when I make others angry?”, Mr. Shaka answered in detail as follows.
If you buy someone’s anger
If you feel angry with Mukamuka saying, “Hey, you don’t have to get so angry” to an angry unpleasant person, you have just done evil with that anger.
Being able to avoid feeling angry at an angry person is what makes it possible to fight against a difficult enemy and win somehow.
When you face the anger of others, the first thing you should notice is that your own heart is about to become angry. Be aware of it and calm down.
If you do so, you and the other person will be treated for your heart.
When you gently and gently accept the anger of the other person, each other’s anger will soon calm down and be healed.
Ryunosuke Koike, “Super Translation: Buddha’s Words” (2011), Section 2
Summary,
Summary,
・ Do not get angry at someone who is angry
・ Early notice that you are angry
・ Gently accept the anger of the other party
It is the content.
Notice your anger
As Shaka said, gently accept the anger of the other party.
How good would it be if this could be done?
When someone gets angry, we are inevitably upset.
At that time, consciously try to look at yourself objectively.
Then, I notice that negative emotions are being born rapidly.
It may be feelings of anger, sadness, or apology.
If you can do this, your thoughts will regain your composure.
No matter what kind of emotions you have, you need to look at yourself objectively and calm down as much as possible.
If the other person is angry, it is counterproductive to convey this feeling.
Angry = mental injury
It is easy to understand if you think of the other person’s mental injury as a physical injury.
When the other party is angry, it means that the other party is bleeding with a sharp thorn.
At such times, it is meaningless to get angry that the other person was injured.
As much as possible, it should be possible to have a decent discussion only after treating the wound and suppressing the pain.
For that reason, first calm yourself down.
Then, let’s prepare a posture to gently accept the anger of the other party.
By doing so, you can heal your mental injuries.
Let’s talk after this is done.
Summary
It is very important to have your own way of dealing with anger.
If someone gets angry, you can’t stay calm.
Mr. Shaka said, “First of all, it is important for you to be calm.”
Because I am calm, I gradually calm the anger of the other party.
In order to stay calm, it is effective to look at yourself objectively.
Let’s think in your heart, “I’m angry now” and “I’m depressed”.
Then you will feel a little calm.
By doing so, you will be in a position to gently accept the anger of the other party.
If you can gently accept your anger, your anger will gradually subside.
Solving specific problems will be effective only at this stage.
In other words, things will not go in the right direction unless you sort out your emotions to some extent.
・ Look at yourself and calm down
・ Gently accept the anger of the other party
・ Organize your feelings before discussing
Let’s deal with these three points in mind.
コメント